I Have Crucified Jesus...

This time I'm going to share about the highlights of Feb 2010 HigherGround session. This is the best HigherGround sessions I have ever been, which I think God specially organized it for me. We have Jasmine Tai as our emcee, JessMinn as our icebreaker, Joel Chew as our worship leader and Pastor George as our speaker.

Before this, I have been asking God why didn't I cry after knowing You? Because I have seen many christians crying but only I couldn't. Is it because I don't know the real You or am I still a hypocrite? I think those thoughts come from devil because I have knew the real Jesus and I want to serve Him. I'm sure I'm filled and led by the Spirit. But I still don't know why I didn't cry as hard as others could! The last time I cried is in Standard 6 I think...I can hardly cry! But I'm sure Holy Spirit is in me and the heavenly peace He has given me. Holy Spirit has touched and boiled me numerous times, only tears can be seen in my eyes but I still can't cry. and also the exceeding joy and peace!

I just know I have to go this month's HigherGround session.. At 7.25pm, I was asking my friends to fetch me but none could. So I have to cycle to KBC and I also have expected scolding from my parents for going to church. So weird, my mother didn't scold me and she smiled at me this time..! Very rare!

So we started off with ice breaking, our ice breaker JessMinn introduced us the game of bean shake. Jasmine Tai won the game. Then we proceed to our worship, led by Joel Chew and the Spirit. We had a very nice worship though the only musical instrument is guitar. I'm sure Holy Spirit is there because He was boiling me there and wanted to tell me many things. I just know that. The most important thing, Holy Spirit is there. Father in Heaven wants us to worship Him in truth and in the Spirit.

Next, a sermon by Pastor George, which touched my heart the most of all sermons I have heard. Just 10 minutes after listening to Pastor George's sermon, Holy Spirit in me cried. I can sense Him grief,crying and boiling me all over. Holy Spirit has caused me to cry with Him..first time in my life I have cried so hard like a baby! My whole body was shaking like never before! What I have heard that so seriously touched me?

Acts 2:36-38 (New International Version)

³⁶"Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ."

³⁷When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?"

³⁸Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.


Peter is talking to the Jews on the day of Pentecost. They were not the Jews who crucified Jesus, the other Jews from Jerusalem crucified Him. But why Peter(Holy Spirit) said they crucified Jesus? And though the Jews didn't really crucified Him, they were cut to the heart and asked Peter what to do. Peter asked them to repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.


What happened here? They didn't crucify Jesus but they were cut to the heart and never deny that. I cried real hard knowing that I have crucified Jesus.. My brethens and brothers, how am I going to tell you that you have crucified Jesus? I have finally sensed the long suffering God is having, seeing all His creations rejecting him. Because of you, Jesus was crucified. You sinners! We are all sinners, and we have crucified Him together. Jesus died for all and WE ARE THE KILLER! We all know that Jesus died for our sins, but we too have..crucified Him...

I hope Holy Spirit will wake you up about this, that we all have crucified Jesus. Holy Spirit told me lots and lots of things and He's crying very hard with me. I have found the true love of God and finally understand His love towards us. I thank You and Pastor George for the message and I have gained a lot of new revelations in the bible. I'm going to share it here from day to day.

I have finally sensed Him deeply, this is the first time I have cried so long and so seriously. After the sermon is ended, I was still crying. I was really thankful for you guys as you guys sang my favourite worship song to me, "Jesus, Lover of My soul." It is comforting but it just caused me to cry more and more. I was just able to stop crying for 1 minute, and I continued crying and crying on the chair. No wonder I had to cycle to this Higherground session, I was even still crying when I cycled back home. I have knew and learnt new things, I will share it here soon. Holy Spirit talked to me a lot during that time. and I didn't feel condemned, but a very nice peace is with me.

I hope you guys follow me and say.
Father in Heaven,
I have crucified Your Son, Jesus Christ. You sent Him here on earth and I have crucified Him. I now repent and wanted to be baptised in His name, Jesus Christ. He is the King of the kings, Lord of lord. Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go. I ask for Jesus and Holy Spirit to come into my life. Thank You so much for coming. I pray that in no matter whatever, whenever or whereever I am, I am still honouring you. Nowhere i will want to leave you any more. I also ask for Jesus's blood to cover all of me, HigherGround and LYPG. We want to save souls Lord. We want to let them know Your true love Lord. Show salvation to them Lord! Jesus died for everyone and everyone of us can go to heaven! Thank You Lord! In Jesus's name, Amen!